clearing things up

- Then why didn't you do anything?

- For the most stupid reason ever.

- Which one?

- I loved you. That's why.

- Oh...

- Really stupid, isn't it? But that's ok, because I don't anymore. I'm seeing things clearer now. My heart is retired.

Why.Do.I.Even.Bother?

It's not like I'm gonna get it anyways.

In other news, 2011 has arrived.

Will it be my year? Hope so.

You can't spell "RIOT" without "RIO".

feelings from the past

I cannot tell you. You wouldn’t understand. Maybe if you try…but I know you won’t. I want to trust you, I really do. I know everybody will just laugh at me. Judge me. I may have issues. Actually, I do have them. Everybody does. But I don’t judge them. Sometimes I do - guilty as charged! However, I try to comprehend them, to face and to accept the truth. I really want to tell you this. I need a friend that I can trust and that I can share my problems and thoughts. I know you are not going to read this, but here’s (a little piece of) the truth: I fell in love with someone who doesn’t really exist…Crazy shit, isn’t it?

Guess who?

Too shy. Too extroverted. Too funny. Not funny enough. Too serious. Too pathetic. Too ugly. Too beautiful. Too smart. Too demanding. Too skinny. Too fat. Too normal. Not cool enough. Too lazy. Too fake. Full of secrets. Full of defects. Full of shit. Full of love. Full. Empty. Me.

Don't worry, be happy.

It's been months since the last time I wrote something that wasn't related to college or work. Something personal, such as my feelings and thoughts. In other words, things I wouldn't like to share with anyone but me. However, some friends of mine have complained about it and this got me wondering if I could change it. "You shouldn't keep it all to yourself, it's not healthy", "If there's something bothering you, tell me", "You don't tell me anything. Don't you trust me?". These are the most common sentences I've heard about this subject but let's talk about the last one.

I trust all of my friends, no exception, but I just don't feel comfortable talking about me and the things I feel. Being the subject of a conversation freaks me out. Being the center of attention? Please, don't. But see, it's not like I have to deal with everything all by myself. I just don't. I don't really allow me to get sad. Seriously. For me, being sad is not an option and never will be. People often complain about their lives and how much they suck. Of course there are some moments on one's life when everything is a completely mess and it seems like there's no way out. This happens to me as well but I don't get sad. How? By using the "at least" sentence. Got dumped? At least you have some awesome friends you can count on. Don't have friends you can count on? At least you have a home, something to eat, where to sleep etc.

So, no matter the situation you are in, you will always have something good in your life, you just have to find it and be glad you have it.